Rutgers application essay


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College Discussion / College Essays
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Can someone please give opinions about my Rutgers transfer essay?

yzeerf yzeerf

Registered User Posts: 13 New Member

in College Essays
Please use the space below to tell us how you believe a Rutgers education will help you achieve your personal enrichment or career goals.

In all fifty states of America, it is probably hard for some students to pick which college to go to. Some would go Midwest, down south or all way to the west coast, but I believe that my state university will give me the best education. Only forty-five minutes away from home, Rutgers can offer me the greatest learning facilities, challenging classes and a diverse community where I can achieve my personal enrichment and career goals.
To begin with, a young girl like me is always eager to learn from other people with great experience. As interested as I am in the healthcare track, I am always enthralled to learn various science courses. Since this field requires extensive knowledge and a strong background in the sciences, I have chosen Rutgers education can help learn what I need to succeed in. I am very thrilled that this college offers thousands of courses along with different minors and study abroad programs. Whether it is immunology, genetics or any other higher level class, I know Rutgers classes will challenge me to use my critical thinking skills and help me conquer difficult tasks I could possibly encounter along the way. With a good education from a school like Rutgers, I know going to this college will open tons of doors and opportunities for me to learn and gain experience from.
Then, when I first came here in the United States, I struggled to interact and understand different people. Coming from a third world country, I grew up in a society were everyone’s beliefs and values were not far from each other. Two years has passed, I learned to think more openly and accept others perspectives freely. I realized that diversity is a good educational environment were students are challenged to think outside the box and respect the values of others. This is why I choose Rutgers because it offers a college campus that opens doors to expand my horizons. It allows me to travel around the world without going anywhere. Rutgers community will give me a better understanding and learn views of different societies were I can apply in the real world.
Finally, my biggest goal is to get a degree in Public Health and enter a career in the medical field particularly as a physician assistant. To familiarize myself with what I am interested in, I grabbed the opportunity to work as a nursing assistant in an assisted living facility, as well as a volunteer for my town’s first aid squad. Doing all of these maybe demanding at times, but this proves to myself that I have my heart set to follow this path. But to be able to fully achieve this,being part of the healthcare team requires a great skill, good mentorship and a solid knowledge that will make an individual competent enough to handle any situations. Therefore, I have chosen Rutgers to guide me towards my ambition. To illustrate,my cousin who graduated from this institution is now nurse and works happily in the ER. Her being a successful product of Rutgers University, showed me that attending this college is truly a great privilege. With it’s large research centers to the amazing Robert Wood University hospital, I know this institution has made top-notch doctors, nurses that has saved thousands of lives and amazing people that helped with stem cell research to HIV prevention.
In everything else, I do admit that I am big achiever. My vision to give other people outstanding medical care is very important to me. Therefore, Rutgers offers me everything I need in order to achieve these and when time comes to step outside the classroom halls, I will be carrying a Rutgers education that I will value throughout my whole life. With every footsteps I leave and marks I make, it is a great honor and responsibility to carry a Rutgers diploma with me wherever my journey in life may lead me.

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Replies to: Can someone please give opinions about my Rutgers transfer essay?

  • #1

    AmberLee2016 AmberLee2016

    Registered User Posts: 55 Junior Member

    It’s very good, but I noticed some grammatical errors:
    "I have chosen Rutgers education can help learn what I need to succeed."
    – that sentence sounds kind of off… Maybe revise it once more?
    "Two years has passed." – "has" should be "have".
    "…different societies were I can apply…" – "were" should be "where"
    Also, the part where you explained about how you worked as a nursing assistant kind of drew away from how Rutgers would benefit you.
    Your ending is excellent, except "footsteps" should be "footstep", and "marks" should be "mark". Other than that, your essay is amazing. Sorry for being kind of picky about grammar! Good luck on admissions!
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  • #2

    yzeerf yzeerf

    Registered User Posts: 13 New Member

    thank you so much!
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  • #3

    PalfromJersey PalfromJersey

    Registered User Posts: 31 Junior Member

    Remove this from the internet, Some people can plagiarize you, and it can be caught on the computer plagiarize checker by copying from this site.
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  • #4

    yzeerf yzeerf

    Registered User Posts: 13 New Member

    how do you delete posts??
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This discussion has been closed.